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about

This is a parody of "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" by The Script, off their album The Script.

lyrics

I was so young and so foolish, too
Teaching Muggle Studies at Hogwarts wizarding school
Thinking a sabbatical would have done me well
I left my post, hoping the monotony would quell

I went to an Albanian forest and I came out changed
Because I had met He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named
He told me things I had not thought of prior
And whispered in my ear an object which I should acquire

So I went to Gringotts bank and tried to steal the Stone
But it was already taken, I realized as I groaned
Then I headed back to Hogwarts, all his plans were post-poned
He then ensured never again would I ever be alone

And I won't fail
I won't fail

Weeks later, Minerva told me that I looked ill
In the days to pass, Sprout and Flitwick said the same thing still
I guess that it makes sense, I must not appear my best
But nobody'd look amazing if they're failing the Dark Lord's quest

So I unleash the troll Halloween night to steal the Stone
Heading for the third-floor corridor, this time I wasn't alone
But Snape got there first, and I think that my cover is blown
And through it all, my Master's impatience has grown

I won't fail
I won't fail
I won't fail
I won't fail

I know what they all say, they say that I am weak
Afraid of my own subject, and I stutter when I speak
But now I'll give you no choice, and you all must respect me
Just look at all my power, intelligence and cunning
I am finally being everything I can be despite this frame frail
And I know that I will not fail

There's no chance that I could not fail

So I launch myself at Potter and try to obtain the Stone
But a force rocked through my body, and it's like I am thrown
Then I feel a pain that chills me to my very bones
My Master leaves my body, and again, I am alone

The night the Sorting Hat placed me in Ravenclaw, I shone
Yet always bitter because I always wished I was more well know
Will I ever have the chance for my mistakes to atone?
Spending the last year of my life trying to get that precious stone?

I thought that I was clever, I didn't see my flaws
All I was, however, was a foolish Ravenclaw

credits

from From the Bowels of the Chamber EP, released January 2, 2015
Michael Mahoney - Lyrics, Vocals, Editing
The Script - Music

license

all rights reserved

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about

The Secret Broom Cupboard of Salazar Slytherin Columbia City, Indiana

I like to say we're the poor man's The 8th Horcrux. We've been doing our brand of parody wizard rock since 2010, though on hiatus. Composed of brothers James and Michael Mahoney (both Pottermore Slytherins) currently residing in Indiana. We have fun writing and recording our parodies, even if no one else listens.

"Music, a Magic Beyond All We Do Here" - Albus ... more

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